Breaking the Chains

If you want peace, you must seek peace and pursue it.

Have you been victimized? Do you still feel like a victim? Perhaps someone did you wrong and you are having a difficult time getting past it. Or maybe you’ve experienced a series of difficult occurances. Perhaps someone you know has a victim mentality. For some reason, the words “victim mentality” sound insulting. But, there is likely a reason people feel this way. If it was one incident or a series of events which led to this feeling, people go to therapy for a good reason. You can get past this if you’re willing to do the work. The feelings can be released. It is true that we need to go deep and allow ourselves to feel it, the hurt and anger, even the guilt. Feel it. Release it all. Then pray. It will likely take more than one session. But, ultimately it’s better than running, hiding, ignoring or pretending. The key is to acknowledge the release, feel the light, and move forward. This is one way to rise above it all. It is hard and humbling to heal, but worth it. It takes both courage and passion. And while you do so, it is important to balance the darkness with the light, to be kind to yourself while you face fear and confusion.

Another way to rise above it is through creativity. Your unconscious mind has just as much to offer as your conscious mind. Through creativity, we can release our unconscious. If you have a skill, use that skill to create something. It doesn’t have to be music or art. It is the act of creating that releases unconsciousness. It can be done with muscle memory, storytelling, building or constructing, even organizing. There is an art to everything.

My suggestion is to do both. When it’s time to face things consciously, do the work. When it’s better to express yourself creatively, do that. Both will help.

When I was a young adult I journaled a lot. The flow of words can be like a stream, naturally moving on their own. Time can disappear as the pen moves or even as the mind moves. This is an in-between. A magical place between emotion and thought, between unawareness and awareness. The finished product sometimes became a poem. But, it was the creating itself that helped. Not the achievement.

Later on, I decided to do a test. I was curious as to whether or not I created strife in my life in order to write, or did I truly write in order to help myself deal with life. Live to write or write to live? After eight years I discovered that life will give me troubles even if I don’t write. So, writing did, indeed, help me. It did not hinder me.

Then there was a time in my life when the fear in my mind fought with the wisdom in my heart. Staying in touch with nature, the little joys of life, and continued prayer got me through it. I also started writing again, this time fiction rather than poetry.

With divine assistance, I let go of abandonment and betrayal, and I settled into life with more trust and peace. Having compassion for my own ego and other’s egos, then releasing it and getting on with my sacred task was beneficial to myself and to everyone around me. Moving from opinion to wisdom while staying connected to my heart has changed my life. God’s grace is never-ending.

I may have had sadness and anxiety, but I’ve always been able to enjoy life. Even during the crap. It happens more often after you release the anger. This is more than forgiveness, it’s transcending. I am in touch with my higher self again and am able to connect with spirit anytime I wish, thanks to divine guidance.

In addition to this divine communication, I've had highly spiritual experiences in the past, such as mind communication, comfort from the Holy Spirit, out-of-body experience, foreknowledge through dreams, and the like. These were all surprises to me. Other times I have sought spiritual experiences through conscious practice. If you’re interested in getting past the victim mentality and becoming the victor, you can do so by helping yourself or getting help from another. You simply have to be willing.

Sometimes it just happens, brought on by a realization. Other times it’s intentional. Afterward, you become more able to say no to things and people that aren’t good for your well-being. I think it’s important to be active in self-improvement and self-education of particular things relating to everyday living. But you can’t do it for your ego. It has to be for love. And, there is a time for everything. The passage from Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 in the bible has been a great influence on my thinking, and I recommend it to everyone.

Nearly seven years ago, God revealed a great deal of things to me. I learned how to live in present moment awareness. Part of it also was exploring where my ego had been challenged and what that meant. The ego always wants. And it is not the true self. Egos are never satisfied, not with others and sometimes not satisfied with ourselves—always striving while forgetting to just be. Awareness of ego is what makes it vanish. Consideration and kindness are also helpful. We can then live more truly. Sometimes ego is helpful, but that’s short-term. Ego is on the side of war, but soul is on the side of love.

Even after all that, I still struggled with peace of mind. I found it in 2019 by saying no and letting go. This lasted another two years. Then the Lord decided I needed to dig even deeper. Sometimes a reminder is needed so as not to have recurrences of past patterns. Or, we may need to see our past behavior from another perspective. Different life experiences give us different lessons. Being consciously aware of these lessons can help your life tremendously.

I did the work again and my peace of mind returned. I also got over small fears and annoyances. I received more clarity about things that have hurt me as well as more clarity about my own issues throughout my entire development. Life will continue to give you these lessons. It will never stop. Fighting this does not help. Seeking guidance is what does help—be it from God, a self-help book, a therapist or group therapy, a life coach, or a spiritualist.

Like everything else in life, balance is key: intellectual intelligence, emotional intelligence, and spiritual awareness. Each person has their own path and their own timing. A healthy body, mind, and spirit bring more balance. We can heal our bodies and minds from the causes of stress by eating right, exercising, going to a chiropractor, seeing a doctor, meditating, being creative, etc. We can heal our souls, too, through spiritual development.

After you face the darkness and release it (spiritual cleanse), more cleansing is helpful. For instance, grounding meditations can help cleanse negative energy (body cleanse) and emotions (emotional cleanse). Exercising is a body cleanse. Journaling is a continued emotional cleanse. Prayer can be a continual spiritual cleanse. But remember, there is a time for everything—including silence/stillness.

Accepting that your scars are a part of you but do not define you is a big step. This is more than letting go of what does not serve you, it’s the true meaning of loving one’s self. You can learn to love your true self again. You deserve to be treated right by others, and you deserve time to help yourself treat others right. It takes time to develop your own boundaries and to learn what another person’s boundaries are because each person has different sensitivities, perspectives, and communication skills. Respecting others and yourself is a form of active love. With practice, we can have compassion, not reaction. With love, we can have acceptance without judgment.

Who we spend our time with has a lot to do with our unconscious mind as well. Some of it is biology. Some of it is psychology. Our brains are electric. They communicate with each other not only consciously, but unconsciously as well. And, the people we spend time with can influence our decision-making skills. If your peace is disrupted, take a step away. Be it temporary or permanent, it will help you live your own life better, and it will help you to help others better. Proverbs has many insights on this. We all like to think we are in control of our own behavior, and that is true to a point. God gave us free will. However, it is also true that we can be influenced.

I have discovered unconditional love is divine. Trusting God is the key to living right.

Letting go of ego, expectations and defensiveness is a beautiful thing. Our connection to God allows us to see things from a new perspective. He brings soul support, trust, harmony, and restores our values.

I pray we each learn to have faith in each other. Embracing life, including negative experiences, brings resolution. We are all connected, and we all have our own purpose.

As I grow older and continue to learn, I will continue to love the moon, the sunsets, the breeze, the birds, animals, my breakfast, time with others, sunshine and thunderstorms.

Breaking the chains isn’t always easy, but it is worth it. Face the challenges.

None of us is in this alone. And, we all have our own special role. Remember, God IS love.

My heart talks to me, and I listen.

Love,

Tracy

Suggested reading: A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle

Suggested sermon.

Suggested documentary.

Photo by Heloisa Vecchio.